Always a Brides Maid, Never The Bride

The NJ Supreme Court yesterday did NOT rule that NJ must allow Gays to marry.

The NJ Supreme Court (rightly and justly) ruled that Gays must be allowed to have the same Civil Rights that a marriage license grants to hetero couples.

The NJ Supreme Court decided that it was unconscionable to withhold from Gays the same economic and medical benefits that married couples are granted by federal and state governments (and corporations) through a state issued marriage license. There about 1,400 legal rights conferred upon married couples (about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits).

But wait! What’s that the knuckle dragger’s on the Far Right say?
“Same sex couples CAN already get those rights by signing some legal documents.”

Well, after spending months and months and thousands and thousands of dollars for an attorney to draw up legal documents, the Gays can get about a third of the same Civil Rights that a $25 marriage license grants.

SO, for about $25 a heterosexual couple automatically has the right to :

joint parenting;
joint adoption;
joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
status as next-of-kin for hospital visits
medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
dissolution and divorce protections
immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property
the right of survivorship (which avoids probate);
benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home;
veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans;
joint filing of tax returns;
joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children;
bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
decision-making power with respect to a deceased partner cremation or burial;
crime victims' recovery benefits;
loss of consortium tort benefits;
domestic violence protection orders;
judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
and more...

So, sure the Gays could spend thousands of dollars and POSSIBLY get SOME of the above rights, but contrary to the lies spread by conservatives, most of these legal and economic benefits CANNOT be privately arranged or contracted for.

What the Gays CANNOT get from an attorney after months and thousands of dollars, (because absent a legal or civil marriage there is no guaranteed joint responsibility to the partner and to third parties) are rights in such areas as:

child support;
debts to creditors;
joint filing of tax returns;
employer health insurance;
annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans;
decision-making power with respect to a deceased partner cremation or burial;

And, of course, when people cannot marry, they are denied all the emotional and social benefits and responsibilities of marriage as well.

The majority of Gays are not out to “change the definition of marriage.” We are “out” to change misguided and hateful misperceptions and we are “out” to become responsible, productive, and caring members of our society.